Chapter 2. Sunday, July 3

Ranma Saotome was the very picture of masculinity as Cologne struck him in the chest with her stick. At the impact, Ranma instantly transformed—not just his body, but everything else as well—leaving him looking like a girl from the cover of a magazine, with tasteful makeup, stylish clothes, and flowing hair.

“Nooo!” Ranma cried, waking from his nightmare, only to realize that he hadn’t really escaped his nightmare at all; he was still in female form. He might have escaped the fashion-magazine look of his dream—reality swapping it for his usual pajamas—but the confines of his situation remained. And of course, his pajamas were now much too big for him; he probably looked like an idiot wearing them.

He needed to pee. That was something else he had surprisingly little experience with in this form. Most times when he was in girl form, it wasn’t for very long and he could just hold it. Of course, a few times, training with his father, they’d been far out in the countryside, but there were usually plenty of other things occupying his mind. But public bathrooms almost always had plenty of hot water he could splash on himself so he could change back and use the facilities in his proper form. This time was different.

“What are you doing in there? Hurry up, Ranma!” Akane called from outside the bathroom door.

“I’ll be out when I’m done!” Ranma called back, trying to sound normal. He sat there, and for a long moment it felt like nothing was going to happen; he began to imagine new indignities he might have to suffer if he couldn’t go. But then, finally, the urge became too strong, and he managed to relieve himself. He dried himself off gingerly, as if afraid of his own anatomy, and then washed his hands and opened the door.

Passing Akane in the corridor, she looked at him strangely. “You okay? You look… different.”

“I’m fine,” Ranma replied, trying to sound casual. “Just… you know, a lot on my mind.”

Akane looked at the girl walking back to her room… to his room, and frowned. He was usually so confident and self-assured, even as a girl, but now he seemed uncertain and awkward. She wondered what was going on with him.

* * *

Back in his room, Ranma considered his options for what to wear. His wardrobe turned out to have a surprising number of outfits his girl form could wear, but most of them were rather on the skimpy side; clothes Nabiki had offered to him, claiming that she’d bought them but they’d turned out not to be her style. Given that it was hard for Ranma to imagine Nabiki buying a skimpy swimsuit for herself—not to mention giving something away for free instead of selling it on or returning it—Ranma suspected the real reason for the “donated” clothes had more to do with Nabiki’s enthusiasm about photographing his girl form in them. He didn’t have solid proof, but, if he was honest with himself, he’d long suspected her of selling risqué photos of “her” to the highest bidder.

There was a part of him that wanted to just put on one of these outlandish outfits and adopt a carefree attitude like nothing was wrong—that was his normal playbook, after all, even if it annoyed Akane to no end. But today felt different. He decided to go with a variation on his usual boy-mode attire, with pants and a baggy top. Pulling his hair into a simple ponytail, he headed out and down to breakfast.

“Good morning, Ranma-kun!” Kasumi said cheerily as he poked his head into the kitchen. “I called Dr. Tofu’s clinic first thing this morning and got his service and requested an appointment for Monday. He just called me back and offered to see you this morning, which is very kind of him.” Kasumi didn’t mention how distracted Dr. Tofu had seemed on the phone, or the sounds of things being knocked over in the background—it was best to focus on Ranma’s situation right now.

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” Ranma replied, still feeling a bit awkward. He entered the dining area, where everyone else was already seated. Akane looked up as he entered, and their eyes met for a moment. There was still some tension there, but at least she wasn’t angry anymore. He took a moment to look more closely at what Akane had chosen to wear for the weekend, given his own struggles with picking out something to wear. She was wearing a simple blouse with a pattern of blue and white flowers, tucked into a casual canvas skirt: feminine but practical.

Ranma thought about tomorrow—a school day—and how, if he didn’t get matters resolved today, he’d have to decide what to wear again. His normal school clothes weren’t going to fit, and in his girl form he was shorter than Akane so her uniforms wouldn’t fit him either. Even if they did, would he even want to wear a dress to school? It was fine playing dress-up when you were in the middle of a dramatic escapade, but wearing one while just sitting in a classroom and trying to learn stuff would be… different. Seems like that’s the word of the day.

“What are you looking at?” Akane asked him, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Nothin’,” Ranma replied quickly, sitting down. “Just… you know, thinking about stuff.”

The rest of breakfast passed uneventfully, although he thought he’d caught Akane watching him with a weird expression on her face a couple of times, and soon enough the time for his appointment was nearing. Kasumi helped Ranma gather his things for the trip to Dr. Tofu’s clinic, and they headed out. Akane said she had other things to do, so she waved goodbye to them from the front door.

At the clinic, Kasumi explained Ranma’s predicament to Dr. Tofu. Unfortunately, in Kasumi’s presence, Dr. Tofu always became flustered and awkward—at one point examining Ranma’s back and claiming he couldn’t find anything wrong there. But once Kasumi excused herself, Dr. Tofu calmed down and was able to focus. After a careful examination and consultation with his medical texts, he came to a conclusion.

“It appears that Cologne has struck a pressure point known as the Full-Body Cat’s Tongue point,” Dr. Tofu explained. “It’s a rather obscure technique, but it has the effect of making those afflicted extremely sensitive to hot water, to the point that they cannot tolerate it at all. In fact, you must be careful to avoid hot water as best you can, as even warm water could cause serious skin damage and scarring.” He went on to admit that he didn’t know of any cure for it, but promised to look into the pressure point and its effects more deeply.

Ranma and Kasumi returned home, with Ranma explaining along the way that Dr. Tofu hadn’t really told him anything new. Kasumi seemed sure that he’d figure something out as he always seemed enthusiastic about researching unusual medical conditions and was attentive to his patients, if sometimes a little clumsy in person.

* * *

As lunchtime rolled around, Ranma remembered his promise to meet Mousse at the park for their duel. Mousse had demanded a “man to man” fight, which was hardly something Ranma could provide in his current (girl) form. But he wasn’t about to back down from a challenge he’d accepted—he still had his vast repertoire of martial-arts skills, even in this weakened state. At least it was a Sunday, so there wouldn’t be much of an audience—even if Mousse turned out to be more of a challenge than he was expecting, there would be no serious damage to his reputation.

He’d barely sat down to eat when he heard an unwelcome voice behind him.

“Future husband fight for my honor! How romantic!” Shampoo exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly as she approached the table. “Shame he in girl form, though. Mousse want to fight boy not silly girl!”

Ranma sighed. “Yeah, well, I can’t exactly help that right now.”

Shampoo pouted. “But if you marry me, great-grandmother lift curse! Then you can fight Mousse as man!”

Akane, also at the dining table, looked at him pointedly, as if somehow this was all his fault.

“Yeah, about that….” Ranma rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m not really looking to get married right now.”

Shampoo’s eyes narrowed playfully. “You say that now, but once you see how strong I am, you change your mind! I look after delicate Ranma-chan! But everyone want to see you fight Mousse now, yes? We tell all boys we find from school to come watch! We say Mousse very strong, and you very weak. It will be funny!”

“Are you staying for lunch?” Akane asked coldly, “Because I don’t think we’ve prepared enough food for a guest.”

“I hungry, but I don’t need your food. Great-grandmother opening new cat-themed Amazon noodle shop nearby. I eat there!” Shampoo replied, before turning to Ranma. “Meet you at park later, yes? You fight Mousse for my heart!”

She left, and Akane looked at Ranma with an exasperated expression. The message was clear: Why are you leading Shampoo on? Why are you creating so much chaos?

“What?! Mousse challenged me!” Ranma replied defensively. “I didn’t ask for this!”

“But you just had to say ‘yes’, didn’t you?” Akane shot back. “Your manly pride above anything else!”

“Look, I’ll handle this,” Ranma blustered. “I can beat Mousse, easy. He might be an Amazon warrior, but he’s not very bright.” He frowned. “Just… don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?”

Oh, of course, he’s an “Amazon warrior,” Akane thought, fuming silently. She looked across the table at the diminutive girl sitting opposite her. Was Ranma really being realistic about his chances against Mousse? Somehow, she doubted it, and that worried her. Ranma’s overconfidence felt forced, as well. She might get angry with Ranma (a lot), but she still cared about him, and the thought of him getting hurt bothered her. She sighed. She’d have to be at the park to keep an eye on things and try to make sure he didn’t get himself killed. And she’d really wanted to spend the afternoon studying for their upcoming exams… She sighed again. Dealing with Ranma and his crazy life is impossible sometimes!

As Ranma headed upstairs to get ready for the duel, Akane confided her concerns to Nabiki. She agreed, unhelpfully adding, “That boy is going to get himself into serious trouble one of these days!” After a pause though, Nabiki surprised her by asking, “Anything I can do to help?”

Akane supposed that physical harm to Ranma would be bad for Nabiki’s not-as-secret-as-she-thought business in selling questionable pictures of Ranma’s girl form.

“Probably not much you can do,” Akane replied. “Unless you can figure out a way to get rid of all of this constant chaos we’re constantly digging out of.”

Nabiki looked thoughtful; she was good at finding information sources others overlooked. “Hey, you never know what I might figure out… for the right price,” she said with a sly smile.

* * *

Akane didn’t see Ranma again until they met at the edge of the park. Mousse was already there, apparently mistaking random people for Ranma. There were also a few kids from school who’d come to watch the fight. Thanks, Shampoo. Ranma was dressed bizarrely, wearing a long trench coat, sunglasses, and a hat, apparently trying to hide his female body. Akane wasn’t sure he’d be able to fool anyone, especially as he was considerably shorter as a girl, but maybe Mousse’s vision, apparently terrible even with his incredibly thick glasses, would let Ranma get away with his ruse.

Ranma seemed to take Akane’s arrival as the cue to begin the fight, and leapt into the park. Affecting as deep a voice as he could with his current anatomy, he called out, “Ready when you are, Mousse!”

Mousse began his attack by launching a variety of bizarre projectiles at Ranma—including bath toys and a volley of three classic office staplers—all pulled from inside his flowing robe. Ranma’s dodging around to avoid being hit also allowed him spend as little time on the ground as possible; presumably to make it harder to notice the obvious differences between this form and his usual one.

But barely a minute into the fight, Ranma suddenly shouted, “ ‘Anything Goes’ special disguise attack!” and dropped the overcoat and hat, revealing himself in a bunny-girl outfit underneath. Akane rolled her eyes. Really?

Ranma continued to move as quickly as he could so the audience wouldn’t realize that what they saw wasn’t a disguise at all, but his actual current form. Most people were far enough away that he hoped it would be enough, and, since Mousse didn’t seem to be using his vision at all, Ranma thought he might really get away with his promise to fight “man to man”.

Unfortunately, Ranma soon realized that his need to stay airborne as much as possible and move quickly, coupled with the lesser strength and shorter limbs of his girl’s body, was making the fight far more challenging than he’d expected. Mousse was surprisingly agile and strong, and his bizarre attacks kept Ranma on the defensive. Ranma absorbed several significant blows, including one powerful “Fist of the White Swan” attack that sent him flying into a tree, dazing him for a moment. To add insult to injury, it turned out that the white swan in question was a child’s training toilet. What the hell?

Akane watched the fight with increasing worry. Ranma was losing. And of course, he wasn’t just going to stop and lose the fight, so he’d keep going until he got seriously hurt. She tried to think of something she could do…

Nabiki suddenly appeared at her side, dragging Dr. Tofu behind her. Over the noise of the fight itself and the audience, Nabiki shouted something about Dr. Tofu having telephoned the Tendo house with news, saying he’d found a pressure point that could counter the Full-Body Cat’s Tongue point. It was called the Tokyo Grandpa Point, apparently, and, if triggered correctly, it would fix everything. She kept talking, but all the commotion drowned out much of what she said. Having got the gist of it, Akane just waved her arms and pointed from Dr. Tofu to Ranma to get him to go ahead and help Ranma however he could.

It wasn’t easy for Dr. Tofu to insert himself into the middle of the fight without being injured, but he eventually managed to get close enough to Ranma to strike the Tokyo Grandpa Point on his back. Ranma felt a sudden warmth spread through his body, and he knew that Cologne’s nasty scheme had been neutralized.

Nabiki threw him a thermos of hot water she’d brought along (labelled with a fair price in yen), and Ranma eagerly splashed it over himself while executing a spinning tumble. The sensation was wonderful, and he felt himself rapidly transform back into his proper form. He flexed his fingers and toes, enjoying the return of strength to his limbs. The bunny-girl outfit was now rather binding, but that discomfort just sharpened his resolve to finish the fight quickly and recover the overcoat where it lay outside the field of battle. Curiously, it looked like someone had made off with the hat, but with the need for a disguise gone, it hardly mattered.

He quickly regained the upper hand against Mousse, who was now clearly outmatched. With a final powerful strike, Ranma sent Mousse flying into a nearby bush, where he lay dazed and defeated.

Looking around, he saw that Nabiki and Akane weren’t watching his victory, but were instead in the midst of a heated conversation. He saw Akane turn to Dr. Tofu in consternation. Dr. Tofu nodded, and Akane looked crestfallen. Ranma grabbed the overcoat and put it on as he walked over.

“I tried to tell her,” Nabiki said to Ranma as he approached them, “the Tokyo Grandpa Point can only be used once. It is a respite, not a cure.”

Ranma stood stunned, his victory forgotten. He’d thought they’d found a way out of his predicament, but now he knew it was only temporary. At least it had helped him win the fight. He tried to put things into perspective. Yes, in mere minutes, his sensitivity to hot water would be back as strong as ever, and that would leave him stuck again if he was hit with cold water, but at least he was back in his proper form for now. He’d just have to do his best to avoid cold water for as long as possible.

As if on cue, the heavens opened up and rain began to cascade down. Ranma looked up at the sky, realizing that his respite was ending almost as quickly as it had begun.

“Damn it all!” he shouted, as the downpour soaked him, transforming him back into her once again.

* * *

Ranma walked home in the rain, dejected. He’d gone off on his own to think about the situation by himself, without anyone else telling him what to think. Believing he’d been cured and then finding that it was just a temporary reprieve was yet another blow to his ego. But he pushed the disappointment down, and reminded himself that he was Ranma Saotome, and that meant he would prevail, one way or another. Eventually. As he trudged along the wet street, he heard a familiar cackling laugh.

“Are you ready to marry Shampoo yet?” the voice called out to him. Up ahead he saw Cologne standing under an awning, grinning at him. He glared back.

“Your cure is right here,” she continued, gesturing to a large locket around her neck. “The Phoenix Pill. Take it, and the effects of the Cat’s Tongue will be lifted.”

“Oh, I’ll take it, all right,” Ranma replied, with new energy. “I’ll take it right from around your neck!” And with that vow, he charged at her.

At the last moment, Cologne bounced away on her stick, leaving him sprawled on the wet ground. “You’ll have to be quicker than that, son-in-law!” she called back, before disappearing into the rain.

Ranma slowly got to his feet, covered in mud. They’d been looking for ways to get rid of the Cat’s Tongue without dealing with Cologne, but Cologne had changed the game with her challenge. Marrying Shampoo was impossible, but surely Ranma Saotome could defeat an old lady, no matter how skilled she seemed to be. He’d have to train to make this body stronger, but then he’d beat her, take the pill from her, and laugh in her face when she realized her plan to force him and Shampoo together had failed.

* * *

By the time he got back to the dojo, he was soaked to the bone and feeling fed up with everything again. His initial enthusiasm had been washed away by the relentless downpour and a growing feeling that he’d missed a vital factor in his initial confidence. His fight with Mousse had shown that being in girl form was an added complication, reducing the effectiveness of his skills. And his previous encounters with Cologne, even as a boy, hadn’t been particularly successful, either. Sure, Cologne was old, but her skill and experience was clear. Nevertheless, a challenge was a challenge; he just needed a new angle.

Akane was waiting for him at the door, an umbrella in her hand. “Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

“Nothing a hot bath won’t fix,” Ranma replied, affecting a confident air, before he realized the irony of his statement. He winced. “Uh, maybe not a hot bath.”

He got out of his wet and muddy clothes and cleaned up and dried himself off as best he could. He was too tired and unsteady on his feet to take a proper shower, especially a cold one, so it would have to do. Nabiki offered him a bathrobe to wear, which he accepted because it was long and helped warm him up, even though the color and pattern were decidedly feminine. Not that it mattered, he supposed, since he was in girl form anyway.

Akane followed him into the kitchen. He’d missed dinner, but he hoped that Kasumi might have put something aside for him, and he was right.

“What now?” Akane asked as he started eating.

He tried to rally his bravado; he had his image to maintain. “I have a plan,” he told Akane. “Cologne challenged me to fight her for the Phoenix Pill. All I have to do is defeat her and I can be cured of this stupid heat sensitivity.”

“Baka!” Akane exclaimed, smacking him on the head. “You can’t just go charging in like that! You need a strategy!”

Akane’s criticism, echoing his own doubts, made him even more frustrated. “I gotta try!” Ranma exclaimed, standing abruptly and heading for the stairs. “I can’t just sit around and do nothin’, like some dumb girl!”

Akane sighed. Ordinarily, she’d be annoyed by Ranma’s stupid sexist remark, but something about the way she’d… he’d said it made her feel like it wasn’t so much directed at her, but more an expression of his own frustration. She couldn’t help feeling that he was trying to put up a good front but that he was struggling with the challenge of being stuck in his female form.

* * *

Ranma closed the door to his bedroom and leant back against it, closing his eyes tightly. He was really struggling. He was used to being the one in control, the strong one, the one who could take care of himself and protect others. But now, in this weaker body, he couldn’t help but feel more vulnerable and uncertain. He’d almost lost the fight with Mousse. He would have lost without Dr. Tofu’s help. He was still Ranma Saotome, but he was also… not.

He needed to show everyone that no matter what body he wore, he was still a force to be reckoned with and someone they could rely on. Winning against Cologne would demonstrate that, but Akane was right: he needed a better plan than his usual approach. As the fight with Mousse showed, rushing in blindly and trusting that he’d figure things out as he went might have worked when he was a boy, but now he needed to be smarter. He needed to turn his weakness into a strength. But how? He yawned. Maybe an idea would come to him by morning.

He looked across the room at his futon and saw that someone had put out different sleepwear for him. Instead of his regular pajamas, whose overlong legs were now a trip hazard, there was a simple long sleep tee with a print of a cartoon cat on it. He sighed, looking away and back again. Well, it wasn’t frilly or anything. It was really just a long T-shirt, and both sexes wore T-shirts. And the cat was so cartoonishly cute that it didn’t trigger his ailurophobia. So it was fine and, anyway, at least it would be comfortable and he’d be less likely to kill himself on the way to the bathroom. Accepting the situation for now, he put it on.

He also found a hairbrush, and he realized that his hair was still matted from the rain and his half-hearted toweling off. He picked up the brush and began to work through the tangles, trying to relax his mind. The action of the brush felt good, and it triggered a dim memory of a time when he’d been a little kid and his mother had brushed his hair for him. He smiled at the memory and felt a bit happier, but then he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He saw a young woman looking back at him, with long hair, soft features, and a slender figure. She had been smiling faintly, but as he watched, the smile in the young woman’s eyes faded away.

“Damn it! I might look like a girl,” Ranma announced to the reflection, “but that doesn’t mean I have to turn into one. I’m still Ranma Saotome, man among… I’m still me!”

Grimly, he left his bedroom, cleaned his teeth and washed up a little more (planning a proper cold shower in the morning), and then returned and laid down on his futon. He closed his eyes again, willing ideas to come to him. As with the previous night, his usual sleeping positions felt awkward, especially with his new sleepwear, but this time, a bit more used to sleeping in this form, he moved his pillow so it supported his body as well as his head and quickly drifted off to sleep.