Chapter 5. Wednesday, July 6
She was working at the Nekohanten, trying to keep several grumpy customers happy at once, when she slipped and a hot bowl of soup splashed onto her arm. She braced against the pain she expected from the Cat’s Tongue’s effects, but instead she just transformed into… him. He stood there, a man wearing a skimpy waitress outfit, while the customers laughed and jeered. He was about to run out of the room when— She woke up, feeling panicked, sweating and breathing heavily. It was just a dream. She wasn’t him. Wait. She was him. She… He… Ranma sat up in bed, trying to catch his breath. The dream had felt so real, and… he didn’t want to think about it.
He swung his legs over the side of the futon and sat there for a moment; trying to calm down. He looked across the room to his reflection in the mirror. The young woman looking back at him looked quite distressed. Ranma breathed deeply, and looked the girl in the eyes. “I am Ranma Saotome,” he declared firmly, using masculine pronouns, “and that will always be true!” The young woman looked unconvinced by his words, and he watched as she replied, taunting him, using the more feminine language he’d been using at school (and work, and…): “I’m Ranma Saotome and I’m a girl, just like you!” she said, echoing what he’d told his classmates two days before. He shook his head to clear it. Whatever he was, this kind of self indulgence wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He stood and headed to the bathroom to wash up.
Coming back to his bedroom, he realized he was running out of underwear. He had his boy’s boxers, but they were tight and loose in all the wrong places now, and he had various items of girl’s underwear that Nabiki had given him, but those had all been chosen with an eye for their potential in candid photos, with comfort a very distant consideration. He had a few ordinary pairs, maybe dropped by Happousai when cornered during one of his disgusting panty raids, but they weren’t ideal and even with those Ranma was down to his last pair. He’d have to buy some more sooner rather than later, but he wasn’t looking forward to it; some irrational part of him felt like he’d be breaking some kind of taboo or doing something shameful. Still, needs must.
He got dressed in his school uniform and recreated the stylishly unkempt look he’d created for his hair the previous day. Then, remembering yesterday’s interview, he put his waitress uniform and a few sundry items from his dresser drawer into his school bag. He would need them that evening.
* * *
At the school gates, Kuno, his arm in a sling, was waiting for them. As he opened his mouth to speak, Ranma gestured with his finger to his lips, cautioning him to silence. Kuno paused, then nodded, seeming to understand that if he would only say nothing, he could walk his two favorite girls to class without incident. Akane shook her head slightly, feeling like Ranma was leading Kuno on a bit, which would surely cause problems later. On the other hand, they were avoiding trouble now, so she let it go.
The school day passed uneventfully; Ranma seemed to be close to becoming completely accepted by his classmates and teachers, and it felt pretty good. In a way, it was a bit like taking a vacation; he hoped there would be some fond memories to look back on when it was all over and things were back to normal.
* * *
After school, Akane asked Ranma, “So, um, do you want me to come with you to the Nekohanten? For a bit of moral support?”
Ranma hesitated, then shook his head. “Actually, I’d kinda rather you didn’t, if that’s okay.” He paused, trying to find the right words to explain.
Akane jumped in, saying, “No, I get it. You want to handle this on your own. You think I might get hurt if there’s a fight.”
“No, that’s not it,” Ranma replied quickly. “It’s just… Well, you know that Cologne is expecting me to find that outfit humiliating, right? And so I’m gonna have to go the other way, and really act like I’m totally into it, right? And like you said, you don’t like it when I play-act like that around you, right? So, uh, I just think it might be better if you just skip it. If I’m lucky, I’ll be back home tonight with the Phoenix Pill, and we can, uh, just get things back the way they were and make everyone happy.”
Akane nodded slowly. “Okay, Ranma. I understand. Just be careful, okay?”
In the bathroom at the restaurant, Ranma changed into his waitress uniform. Then he arranged his hair differently, pulling it back into a high ponytail to keep it out of his face while working. He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. Not enough. He reached into his bag for some mascara and lipstick that Nabiki had given him for some previous scheme. Once the makeup was applied, he looked at the girl in the mirror again. He thought he’d done a good job of creating the character to match the outfit. The girl smiled at herself. “Okay, Ranma-chan,” she said firmly, “you can do this. Just play the part, and get that Phoenix Pill.”
“I never knew my son-in-law was such a pretty girl,” Cologne said as Ranma presented herself at the counter. “You really know how to work that outfit, don’t you? Shampoo will be so pleased.”
“I always try to please my customers, ma’am,” Ranma replied, batting her eyelashes. “Is there anything I can get for you today?”
“Just get me happy customers!” Cologne replied, clapping her hands together. “And don’t forget to smile!”
Ranma spent the next two and a half hours practically flying back and forth between tables and kitchen, taking orders, serving food, and ensuring that everyone was happy. She was careful to route herself past Cologne as often as possible, hoping to find an opportunity to snatch the Phoenix Pill from around her neck. On many of the trips, she found herself rushing past with bowls laden with noodles and soup (usually scalding hot!); other times she had a stack or two of dirty dishes to manage. It was tricky to not drop anything while getting ready to try for a grab, but she did manage to get close enough to reach for the pill a few times, only to be foiled at the last second by Cologne’s quick reflexes or an unexpected change in direction.
As the dinner rush died down, Ranma’s shift came to an end with no prize won. She retreated to the bathroom to change back into her school uniform, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief. She hadn’t gotten the Phoenix Pill, but at least she hadn’t been humiliated or hurt. He wiped away the makeup, and looked at the girl in the mirror, the girl that was really him, not a silly caricature. He smiled at her. “We’ll get it next time,” he said firmly. “We just have to keep trying.”
As he walked back to the dojo, he thought about what he’d learned. Akane was right about speed being the key; he needed to be able to carry bowls of hot food or stacks of dirty dishes without spilling or dropping anything while simultaneously snatching the pill from around Cologne’s neck. He had a vision of what was needed—moving so fast that the bowls would stay in place as if they were floating while his hand darted out to grab the pill. It would take practice, but that was familiar territory; you always needed to train hard to master any technique worth knowing.
* * *
At home, Akane was waiting for him. She could see the disappointment on his face. “How did it go?” she asked gently.
Ranma sighed. “I didn’t get the pill,” he admitted. “But we’re right about needing more speed—Cologne was just too quick. But I have some cunning ideas for a quick snatch next time; I just need to train. Maybe we can try some things tomorrow, if you’re up for it?”
Akane nodded. “Of course, Ranma-chan! We’ll figure it out together.”
Ranma smiled at her. “Thanks, Akane-chan!” he replied, and headed up to his room. As he neared the door, he remembered that he was out of underwear and should have found a way to buy some more. Damn it. He really hadn’t had the chance. But look, Kasumi had clearly found his dirty clothes and washed them for him, and his other two pairs were now neatly folded on his bed. Three pairs still was not nearly enough, but at least he had a reprieve for a couple more days. He changed into the sleep tee, which had also been newly washed, and got into bed. As he lay there, he realized that he hadn’t looked at his reflection on his way into bed, and now he’d have to sit up to see it.
It’s fine, I don’t need to stare at myself every night. It’s not like I need to see it to know I have a girl’s body; I can feel it just lying here.
He’d hoped that knowledge would help him put the thought of his condition to rest, but instead it just made him more aware. Paying closer attention to his female anatomy caused him to tense his pubococcygeus muscle, and that lead to… feelings… feelings that were, well, like something was building up inside him. It was actually kind of… nice, and he thought he knew where it might lead if he kept going. He tried to calm himself down again; to quench the little fire that he’d inadvertently started. I didn’t even know that was a thing! I guess I have a lot to learn about this body.
Uncomfortably, he remembered overhearing his classmates discussing the sorts of “intimate personal explorations” they imagined making if they could switch sexes. He squirmed a little at the thought, and realized that he still had the same hangups about this body that he’d always had: that taking advantage of it was wrong somehow; that he shouldn’t even think about exploring it.
He sighed. Maybe he needed to get some professional help, as, honestly, he was starting to feel a little confused about just who Ranma Saotome was supposed to be. Maybe he could trust Dr. Tofu with this kind of thing? He pondered it as his brain spun down into a jumble of half-formed thoughts and images, and, finally, she drifted off to sleep.